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Day 7: Self-Care is not a euphemism for hair removal.

The truth is I've been trying to write this for five minutes but a piece of toenail got stuck in my keyboard. I tried to get it out but in so doing instead aided it in its escape from my newly-manicured fingers so that now its rump is lodged under the '@' key - which,… Continue reading Day 7: Self-Care is not a euphemism for hair removal.

Day 6: Thursdays are for solo candlelit dinners and flirtations with classical music

Allow me to set the scene. I don't believe I've done that before. What a terrible narrator I am. It is 20:51, I sit alone at my desk in the activewear I've been wearing since what feels like 2003 but is really just whatever day I arrived home, hungover - god, remember hangovers?! - to… Continue reading Day 6: Thursdays are for solo candlelit dinners and flirtations with classical music

Day Four/Five: The cesspool of social media has me drowning

I find myself looking forward to random people's morning stories. Hah, call my sleep-deprived but that reads as morning glory to me and I am at the stage of housebound, recycled-air inhalation insanity which makes that veeeeeeeeeery funny. Anyway. Pretending I'm not a nine-year-old boy who's just had his first erection - I follow one… Continue reading Day Four/Five: The cesspool of social media has me drowning

Day One in the Quarantined House

And so I thought – in the truly despicable scourge of individualism and selfie-taking that have instilled in us a brazen entitlement to think that every mealtime, every fleeting synonym for a thought is worthy of comment I decided that now was a truly fantastic time for percolation (me) to meet isolation (all of ye) and inspire a creation.

Christmas: The most wonderful – and morally conflicting – time of the year

My name is Holly. Thus, despite being born in March, it is my birthright, a christened and legally-binding imperative that I must, no matter what, love Christmas. And I do – from the heady smell of the pine tree to the three kinds of potatoes tumbling off my gluttonous plate. Yet, for me, Christmas is… Continue reading Christmas: The most wonderful – and morally conflicting – time of the year